If you’re wondering if I went skiing in vail you’d be 100% right only thing that was different is that I got a place to stay this time.

It’s crazy to still have snow this late in the year but it helped and honestly wish that it snowed more but the snow we did get helped make day 2 a nicer day, especially on the grommets runs. There was still fresh lines on lionshead by 10AM. So much fun to actually stay in vail as well. Usually just have a quick visit but was glad to stay. I got a little less skiing than I’d like but I was able to enjoy myself quite a bit. I did crash into my dads friend who made this all possible on the first run we had together. I’ll admit Thankfully he was fine, I did get my knee twisted up a bit and although I think I lost some cartridge(sarcasm) I avoided the ACL and was able to ski the next day. As strava shows I took it a bit more cautious with my dads friend and with my bum knee, no black runs at all. Still deciding if I’ll go closing weekend or not. I’m feeling good about the way my life is going lately. Feels like I’m on a spaceship. I recently got accepted to join my company in a volunteer event and I was so happy to be selected for it. I’m really excited to be able to help out and continue our company’s mission. Other than that there was not much to say about the weekend, on the bus home now and boy am I hungry I’ll be making a big meal when I get home that’s for sure.

This a short but potent book on based on ancient toltec wisdom. The four agreements are: be impeccable with your word, don’t take anything personally, don’t make assumptions, always do your best. If you you make these four agreements with your self and stay true to them you will always live a life in harmony. Ruiz writes about the agreements in more detail (each one having its own chapter for a total of five), gives a brief history of the ancient toltec’s, and includes a beautiful short story about a man discovering himself in the introduction.
I love this book. It has made a profound impact on my own life on my constant path of self-improvement.

Started my Friday with the nuggets game with my friends. We came to the game to support a friend who performed the national anthem. Nuggets got crushed but it was a good time.

Saturday by far my busiest day of the weekend. Started with an audition for a play.

I was so nervous for the audition but after practicing it hard for hours. I felt I had it memorized. When it came to perform the audition, I couldn’t get past 6-8 lines. It was an epic fail I felt terrible but I’ve never done anything like this before I’m glad I at least showed up and tried even if it went terribly. It felt really bad that I worked so hard only to put out a terrible performance when it mattered. I have tried not to beat myself up too much but I was crying after I left that place. Also I still cringe and may always when I think about my audition. Had to lie to my friends from the nuggets game when I was asked about it by them., was too ashamed to tell them the truth.

Later post audition I played tennis against one of the best tennis players I’ve faced. Despite that he had by far the strongest serve I’ve ever faced it was a close game. We only played one game but he did beat me 8-7.

Later I went out to a party. I don’t have any photos of it but it was a really good party. Unfortunately I invited a work friend who actually showed up but he was counting on me to let him in but I didn’t feel his 6 calls and missed him. I felt terrible when I saw his 6 missed calls but I saw him today in the context of work and he seemed okay with it. I really value our friendship and hope I can make it up to him next time we hang out. I know I wouldn’t have been as calm about it as he was. This was a really nice party and I meet a lot of people which was nice. I do think I stayed longer than I should’ve and also I think some people there really didn’t like me. People’s opinion is me is the opinion I care the least about when they don’t like me, but there was some people who annoyed me a bit I can’t lie. Wish I had seen my friend there I think I would’ve had more fun. Also by no fault of my own my job became a big topic of conversation. I do not want to get into it but two women who i was very kind two played a prank on me by sticking something on the back of my shirt, can’t prove it was them but something tells me it was. Childish, and I was upset that no one told me even though I’m sure many if not everybody knew and saw it. I didn’t notice it until I got home but I was mad when I did.

Got home from the party at about 2am knowing that I’d have to be up at 5am if I was to go skiing which I really didn’t have a choice as I wanted to pick up my skis, boots, and binding that I purchased the previous week and give them a test run. So despite the lack of sleep I made it. I usually go from 6-3:40 but this time I left at 2:40 instead to save myself an extra hour and hopefully get some more sleep when I get home. I did sleep both ways on the bus for at least an hour. Had a good day but did less skiing than normal even with the earlier departure. Had lunch at vendettas as usual, love that place. When I got home I made a quick dinner and went to sleep for 12 hours 6pm-6am which I think was necessary as it gave me a cumulative 14hrs of sleep for Saturday and Sunday combined and woke up feeling okay, as far as energy is concerned.

This was a very busy and fun weekend that was also a bit of an emotional rollercoaster. I was so sad about how the audition went, but by the time I played tennis I was feeling more like my self again. By the time I was at the party it was a thing I wasn’t really thinking about and actually spoke to some strangers about. It’s funny how it can be easier to open up to a stranger you’ll never see again than a friend. It feels bad still but time does heal all wounds. Enjoy this video of me crushing it on my favorite run in vail.

Longest book I’ve ever read in my life my edition was a whooping 927 pages granted at least 50 of those were full page animal illustrations. I picked this book up at a free little library near my neighborhood. I remember learning about Darwin in highschool and was excited to further explore the foundation of knowledge given to me by my previous educators. Upon reading the first few chapters it was clear to me why Darwin is regarded as on of the smartest people to have ever lived. This book is the greatest attempt of all man kind to explain how life came to be what it is and where it started. Darwin also achieves his branch of science by explaining his theory of evolution and how animals use sexual selection to ensure success of certain individuals while natural selection depends of the success of all individuals in relation to the general conditions of life. Modifications acquired thru sexual selection tend to affect the males such as a lions mane, the tail feather of a peacock and many more well sourced examples. Overall this book is about understanding the natural world and how man likely came from some vertabrae fish that went through many evolutions to become some type of amphibian to then become a marsupial to then become a monkey and eventually modern man. A fantastic book with so many beautiful insights into the natural world and biology

Perhaps the biggest update is that I regained access to my Facebook account after a hacker had control for more than 3 years.

I foolishly deleted my Instagram and WhatsApp in protest of Zuckerbergs lack of concern for his clients private data. It didn’t (and still doesn’t) sit right with me that there was no solution for a hacked account on the biggest social media app in 2018. If you got hacked and your hacker enabled 2FA you were screwed. So I got back on Instagram following the reinstatement of my Facebook account. Still though I have to restart my Instagram from square 1, which is kinda shitty.

My friend asked me if I was okay? Maybe this was a just simple question but I opened up to him and said that I really wasn’t and hadn’t been but I am doing better. No lies told. Even if I took the bait so to speak I am glad to have a friend who cares enough about me to ask me that. Truth is deleting my Instagram is a choice I made out of an emotional response and it was not a good one. I was going through some stuff and this happened and that was it for me. A decision I made when I was mentally weak and stuck with for a long time due to my pride, even though I had often regretted it. But I kinda liked being a person without an Instagram and I’ll be honest during the time I didn’t have one my life did and has gotten better. I’m not saying correlation is causation but I don’t think the amount of time I and others spend on that app is indicative of a mentally well individual.

I am taking my Instagram account slow for now, not many people know about it and I’ll probably keep the circle small for the time being.

I was so excited about getting my account back I even went for a run to release some energy.

I think I will go for another run again soon, may try for a 5k and cut my time down, stay tuned for that.

And of course it wouldn’t be a weekend with out some skiing.

I went a bit more agressive skiing more blacks than usual. I also got my Colorado knight hood and bought my own pair of skis boots and bindings, this late into the season I doubt I will use them more than once but that’s okay I have my own set for next year.

I think when I deleted my Instagram I should have just deactivated it instead. It’s weird to admit but the app seems pointless with 20 followers. Would like to get some more. May never get back to the 500+ I had but then again do I want to? There was some good to come from my Instagram hiatus but I’ll be honest I’m glad I’m back even if I’ve only been on a couple times since re downloading. I know this website in all honesty was my way of replacing my Instagram. But it never quite saw the numbers my Instagram did. I’m not saying I’m done with the website. Quite the contrary, I plan to use this as a portfolio to freelance writing work in the future. But yeah it’s been a wild week. Wish I didn’t lose my mind and delete my Instagram because of course Facebook would figure it out. But glad for the friends I have and that have stuck with me. Sometimes you really do need to take a step back to take a step forward. It’s a bittersweet moment but I’m happier than ever and wow I love my life these days.

I’ve lived in Miami most of my life, did travel to various american and foreign cities (most for no more than 2 weeks) after a short 6 month stint in Jackson Wyoming that ultimatly and perhaps providentially ended in failure. I moved to Denver in 2018, it was not the city I chose, in a way Denver chose me. The truth is me and my parents were fed up with each other and I was getting in a lot of trouble, my dad knew someone who could be me a job that would pay double any job I had at the time no questions asked. I was ready to move on and live independently and Denver provided the only oppurtunity for me to do that, I didn’t think I’d stay here very long but 6 years later and I’m still here. Based on that you might think I like living in Denver but the truth is I’ve been dying to leave for at least half my stay. The first half I was just happy to be on my own and although I knew I did not like it as much as my hometown I did like the change of pace it provided, and wanted to at least explore it a bit more.

Now 6 years down the line I can confidently say I’ve seen it all and I know truly that this is not where I want to spend the rest of my life. Recently this has become more clear to me than ever before. I was speaking with a friend recently and he compared Denver to the W.W. Jacobs short story “The Monkey’s Paw” for those unfamilar with the story, the monkey’s paw is a mummified monkey paw that has the power to grant wishes, but there are hellish consequences to those who make a wish using the paw. The story has been adapted countless times and the main jist of the story is to be careful of what you wish for.

To me Denver is a town that is my own personal monkey paw. I had wanted to be on my own so bad I didn’t care where it would be or what I would have to do to achieve it. So when I first moved here I was happy to start living the life I wanted, free from my parents. I took a good paying but dangerous job and on the first day of work got serverly burned with chemicals due to poor training by my supervisor who gave me too much responisbility on my first day.

Instantly ideas of why should I stay here came in my mind, again I thought I’d be crazy to move all my things bascially across the country only to go back after my first setback, so I stayed here despite my burns and did this job for 3 years with no further incidents. That’s the first finger.

To anyone who hasn’t lived in Denver, you might think of Denver as this

but Denver is not like that, Denver is just a city like any other I’ve seen in my life.

The mountains and ski towns are 3 hours away or more depending on where you’re going and what day of the week but as someone whos been to vail many times, even leaving by 6AM can mean getting to first chair by 10AM, not exactly convenient or speedy for what is 70 or so miles away. And the drive back is no more speedy. Many times a vail trip takes up a full day because getting to Vail means 3 hours of traffic both ways. Denver sort of tricks you into thinking it’s a mountain town with deers, moose, and coyotes on any given corner but that is just not true, to much city. Denver is not only pretending to be a mountain town but also masquerading as a food town, I know we have a few michelin star resturants but that’s not my vibe (not that I could afford it anyway) and the food I have tried is the defiention of “mid” I was someone who did not like to eat much fast food I have become a bit more of a fast food customer these days, partly due to my job, but mainly because it’s better than most resturants here. This is the second finger.

Lastly, in true form to the monkey paw, everything in Denver just kinda sucks. I don’t really know how to explain it but compared to what I’d call “world class cities” like Barcelona, Miami, NYC, and Boston. Denver is worse in every aspect, terrible public transportation, agressive homeless (way worse than miami), the food, lack of closeness to outdoors, and quite frankly the lack of true identity, all make Denver for me a flop. Initially I had trouble making friends here and had the idea to join sports leagues but no one seemed interested in hanging out after games so something I did to have fun and my efforts to make friends ended up being a total waste. A typical denver experience.

In a way I am thankful for Denver as I came here a lost boy and I will leave here a found man. I do feel that I grew up here in a way that is more significant to the ways I grew up in Miami, Denver will always be a special place to me for that reason. I can say I now feel like a man who has a clear path and knows the rhythm of my steps, but some how despite my attempts to leave I feel like I keep getting sucked in, its a whirlpool I can float in but never escape from. I wonder if I will ever find away out or just be stuck in a city I like but not love. Not sure about you but I want to be in love with the city I live in, Denver is not a city I love. That is the third finger.

I will leave with a few positives of denver. Red Rocks is a world class outdoor amphitheater just 30 minutes away. Safta restaurant and sushi den have been pleasant surprises. I liked living in Capitol Hill for the 2 years I was there. Nice quaint and walkable neighborhood. But overall I’d rate Denver like a 6/10 maybe a 6.5 on a good day.

I did go out after my ski day, played some pool and went to the strip (-$200). Sunday did a pub crawl with some old and new friends. I definitely had some luck of the Irish on my side.

I made this image closer to my birthday (6 weeks ago)when I was feeling really bad about turning thirty. I had watched a podcast and Mel Brooks came up in a conversation related to his new show, History of the World part II a sequel to his movie History of the world Part I(1981). Then one of the podcasters said it was probably bad beause no one is making thier best work at 97 years old. I recently turned 30 years old, which most would consider a halfway point, leading up to my birthday I started to take stock at my life and saw that I was living paycheck to paycheck with not much in savings and not much success in my career either, and that I make a lot of distructive decisions in trade of a some dopamine. I started to feel down on myself. Have my better years passed me, have I done my best work, and if so what can I really show for it? I have wanted so much for my self, aspirations of being a pilot, an actor, or something else. I still don’t know what I want in my career, or in my life but I do feel like I am entering a new chapter. I can at least proudly say I have been making better choices lately in regards to temperance and discipline do believe better days (potentially some of the best) are on the horizion. Sure I am older now but I’ve learned there is gold in growing old, we truly open like roses to the sun as we get older. Every day I feel more like myself, and that I have a better understanding of myself. I truly believe that the good choices I am making now will compound into big wins later on as long as I stay disciplined.

Maybe later on I’ll consider this time of worry as a silly thing to be concerned with but I do feel slightly behind in life compared to peers in the same age group, and am not where I thought I’d be at 30 if you’d ask me when I was 20. I certainly thought I’d be a family man by now. Then again I have a lot to be thankful for and proud of. Stay on the right track and I will arrive to my destination, even if this old train is chugging along slowly, just keep pushing. Choo Choo!

Today I finally made it on time for my bus and headed to Vail. I knew the mountain pretty well but Vail really is my favorite place to ski in Colorado.

Started the day a bit later then I hoped, bud got caught up in traffic. Not at all uncommon for the weekend. Got on the first lift around 10AM and took a selfie. Got warmed up on a blue run and was feeling good, even my rental skis seemed to be in good shape so I decided to hit the LEGENDARY back bowls.

The back bowls are definitely more advanced skiing than the rest of the mountain and I probably wouldn’t have done them at all if I didn’t think my rentals were up for the task but they were thankfully and had a good couple runs on the bowls before heading to lunch at Vendettas.

Really can’t beat vendettas in vail if your looking for a cheap bite, 5$ a slice. Had two slices and two beers and paid 30 after a 20% tip.

This is a picture of some of my favorite runs on the whole mountain. Love them all. But gotta give a special shoutout to my favorite.

Definitely a more difficult blue, has moguls but it’s my favorite. Has a nice tree line and is well groomed. Vail really is the best in my opinion, can’t believe it was my first time here this season. Gotta go back at least once before the end of the season. Will say that the traffic jam and price makes it something I don’t want to do all weekend. I left at 6AM and probably won’t be home till 7:30 PM. It’s a whole day, sure I could go out still but I’m usually exhausted, I doubt I’ll go anywhere today unless I’m invited and even then I’d have to consider saying no. Even though it’s a pain sometimes I never regret making this trip.

Was invited to go to CO springs, this would’ve been my first time going since moving to Colorado. I had some reservations, the person who invited me is someone who I’ve been to things with before when he invites me but whenever I invite him it’s always a no. I’m a big believer in tit for tat and I also didn’t want to go since I was the senior of the group and didn’t really know anyone. Plus he never goes anywhere I invite him too. Before even agreeing to go I asked myself why would I go an hour away to a new city for someone who won’t even drive across town for me. I should’ve listened to this thought but decided to go thru with the weekend.

I had no business being there most people were in a couple and knew each other, I was definitely the odd one out and sorta wish I hadn’t gone. But I learned a few things about my self and relationships. If 21 is to young for me to date it’s certainly to young for me to be friends with. I’ll likely never see any only those people again and that’s okay, no hard feelings. Garden of the gods was the highlight and it’s nice that the state of Colorado offers this for free.