I was at my favorite bar with her when she dropped a bomb on me.
The moment she said it I went to survival mode right away. After a brief back and forth I went to the bathroom to calm down. I stood there for a moment, water running and a hard look in the mirror. I knew what I needed to do.
I meet her December 1st while at work. It was a week later of constant texting that we went out for our first date. It was a good date and we didn’t have sex which actually meant a lot to me. I started to think that a serious relationship could be built between us. She made it clear early on that she wasn’t looking for anything serious, I heard her but I didn’t listen.
A few months later and it did feel like the relationship had ran its course. The connection wasn’t as electric as it was. I had thought of breaking up with her but kept her around to attend an event I paid for already, then planned to break it off a week or so later. I should’ve just called it off as many of my friends suggested but I guess that shows where I was mentally.
We never made it to the event. She told me one day while out at PS lounge that her ex boyfriend would be flying in and taking her to a red rocks concert. I was fuming, but trying not to be upset as I knew I wasn’t her “boyfriend” it still felt like a gut punch. That fact alone was not enough for me to call it off. It wasn’t until she said she’d blocked off her week & couldn’t attend the event that I knew what I needed to do. The same event I had been waiting for to end things she now was choosing not to attend anyway. So I let her go.
I realized we wanted different things and to be fair to myself and not settle. I appreciate the relationship and I learned a lot. The breakup was clean and healthy which I’m grateful for. She’s very mature for her age. but no contact a month later and likely ever again. We’ve been no contact since the break and it’ll probably stay that way. I think if I saw her again I could handle a friendly chat but I’m not going down that same road again.
She told me who she was and what she wanted early on, I was a fool to think I could be an exception. The version of me that kept waiting for her to change her mind, that guy was settling and I don’t want to do be that guy again.
Im putting myself out there again and I can say I now have a clearer vision of what I want and what’s acceptable or unacceptable in a relationship. And that feels like something
