I made this image closer to my birthday (6 weeks ago)when I was feeling really bad about turning thirty. I had watched a podcast and Mel Brooks came up in a conversation related to his new show, History of the World part II a sequel to his movie History of the world Part I(1981). Then one of the podcasters said it was probably bad beause no one is making thier best work at 97 years old. I recently turned 30 years old, which most would consider a halfway point, leading up to my birthday I started to take stock at my life and saw that I was living paycheck to paycheck with not much in savings and not much success in my career either, and that I make a lot of distructive decisions in trade of a some dopamine. I started to feel down on myself. Have my better years passed me, have I done my best work, and if so what can I really show for it? I have wanted so much for my self, aspirations of being a pilot, an actor, or something else. I still don’t know what I want in my career, or in my life but I do feel like I am entering a new chapter. I can at least proudly say I have been making better choices lately in regards to temperance and discipline do believe better days (potentially some of the best) are on the horizion. Sure I am older now but I’ve learned there is gold in growing old, we truly open like roses to the sun as we get older. Every day I feel more like myself, and that I have a better understanding of myself. I truly believe that the good choices I am making now will compound into big wins later on as long as I stay disciplined.
Maybe later on I’ll consider this time of worry as a silly thing to be concerned with but I do feel slightly behind in life compared to peers in the same age group, and am not where I thought I’d be at 30 if you’d ask me when I was 20. I certainly thought I’d be a family man by now. Then again I have a lot to be thankful for and proud of. Stay on the right track and I will arrive to my destination, even if this old train is chugging along slowly, just keep pushing. Choo Choo!
Exploring Life's Canvas: Juan Socarraz's Musings and Adventures 